Rock and Roll doesn't look good in spandex
by ResidentEvilChris
Summary: Loki sends the Avengers, Maria Hill, and Phil Coulson, to an alternate universe where the Avengers are in a rock band. While they're having the time of their lives, New York in the real universe, is being terrorized by Loki and his allies. When they start getting their memories back will the group leave behind their seemingly perfect life for one of constant death? Captain Hill
1. Follow me down

A/N- All rights go to Disney and Marvel. I have no affiliation nor do I make any profit from the posting of this story.

Also, this a prologue to show how they got into the alternate universe.

* * *

Loki grinned sardonically as he walked back and forth in the dingy lit room that could have easily doubled as a basement. "Well well, mighty _Avengers_" He spat the last word out of as if it physically hurt him.

"You've stopped my ploys time after time, yet you here are stuck in a cage like wild animals. _Funny_, isn't it? You won your battles, but I win the war" He took a step back and finally took a look at who exactly was in the cage. "It seems I missed two. Fortunately for me, they're_ hardly_ any threats. More like the_ mascots_ of the team, aren't they?" He did however, get two officers of SHIELD which was nearly as good, if not _better_. Deputy director, and an extremely high ranking agent. He'd like to see SHIELD run smoothly without Maria Hill and Phil Coulson.

Tony,_ ever_ the dramatic diva had to take the opportunity to make a joke of things, despite the long, haggard look on his face. He looked weary and troubled, a far cry from his usual look. "Are we going to be released anytime soon because I have a four o'clock meeting that I can't miss"

Coulson hardly held his groan in. These were the Avengers? The team that everyone put their faith in? Of course he knew what he had been getting into when he agreed to work with the Avengers Initiate, was eager even, but_ really_. Stark annoyed the _best_ of people and Coulson was a long shot from being _anywhere_ close to okay with Stark's constant quips.

The Hulk took a large step forward, their best bet to get out of there was using brute strength to break the bars.

"Uh, uh" Loki clicked his tongue and wagged his finger as if reprimanding a pet. "I _really_ wouldn't do that if I were you" Thor not satisfied with that answer, stepped forward as well and readied his hammer for attack but before the hammer hit the side of the cage, he was blasted back.

"Everyone finished?" He paused dramatically, searching each of their faces for a hint of rebellion, or a sign that they were going to strike again. "Now _where_ was I? Oh yes, you _mighty_ Avengers are like wild animals. Now the question is what should I do with you?" Loki stopped his pacing only long enough to send Thor a patronizing grin. It was almost endearing, how gleeful Loki looked.

"Brother, stop this madness" Thor cried out, trying to reason with him. Though Loki was not his real brother, they were raised together and had spent all of their lives believing them to be related. Thor had seen Loki's good side and that, perhaps, was one of the many reasons Loki tried _so_ hard to prove to Thor that he _wasn't_ the good guy- not _anymore_. Not after he was_ pushed_ to do the things he had because of _their_ father.

Steve, Tony, Hill, and Coulson stood side by side, for once not bickering. If one bothered to pay attention, they could see their lips murmuring. No doubt, they were all discussing a plan of escape. Considering that they couldn't even get _close_ to the side of the cage, their best option was to wait for Clint and Natasha to come and release them.

All eyes snapped up towards Loki as they heard a triumphant cry. There was a gleam in his eye and it was probably the most worrisome thing in the room. "I_ suppose_ if I can't beat you I'll just send you somewhere where you won't get in my way"

With that said, Loki placed his staff on the bars of the cage and a bright light filled the room, blinding the prisoners and each person in the cage felt a drowsiness they quickly succumbed to.

* * *

A/N: We'll see the group in a band next chapter but they won't remember anything about being superheroes. Also look forward to a possible groupie Loki.


	2. Here we are now, entertain us

A/N- By the way, I assume most people in this are 22- 30 with the obvious exception of Coulson, Fury, etc.

* * *

There was no other way to put it, Maria Hill was _miserable_. Not in a typical, want to kill _herself_ way, no. The sun was out, the heat was blistering, it was summer and she was in Florida. Every single person there should be _beyond_ miserable except the Florida locals.

Then again, she was at a concert and it's sort of hard to find miserable people at a concert unless it was a Carrie Underwood concert. But those seemed more of a _-we-hate-our-ex-now-lets-feel-empowered-and-destroy-his-car_ sort of concert.

To be specific, she was in line to meet the members of Avengers, the concert hadn't actually _started_ yet. Honestly she couldn't care less about the meeting the Avengers, she just wanted the VIP ticket that came along with it. Meeting them was actually a nuissance, she'd been waiting in line for an hour and a half.

She wasn't even supposed to be _at_ the concert, the date seemed to coincide with the day she was supposed to be filling out paperwork to extend her years of active duty in the army. She had sold her ticket, but by chance her only friend, _and_ commanding officer, Coulson, had VIP tickets, which included meeting the band, and he eagerly offered one to Maria.

Her decision was obviously a fabulous one that led to her standing all _day_ in line to meet a band she didn't care about meeting, with Coulson nowhere in sight. She could feel the sweat dripping down her back and suddenly her all black ensemble didn't seem so wise. Her jacket had long since been discarded and now hung limply over her arm, but the sleeveless shirt she was wearing gave her _some_ reprieve from the heat.

The line moved forward, and Maria took note of the fact that it was nearing her turn finally. She mused to herself on the fact that everyone walking out from the building the band was in, was smiling. They were smiling _after_ walking _away_ from a band they had seen for_ thirty seconds_ and had waited at least an_ hour_ to see. What was so happy about that?

One girl ran out squealing about getting Tony Stark's number and Maria tried not to roll her eyes. What were the odds of him _actually_ answering? What were the odds of him actually _remembering_ the girl's name?

"Someone's being a spoil sport" She heard from behind, instantly recongnizing Coulson's voice. "Sir" She turned around to properly address him and was extremely surprised at what she saw. Out of habit, Maria straightened her back, and nearly saluted him, her mind boggled at the sight of Coulson.

Her usually well put together and orderly commander was in a pair of blue jeans and and a white T-shirt with red and blue letters that read '_I love Captain America_'. He had a large foam finger that said the same thing and he was wearing glasses with a flag painted on each of the lens. How he saw out of them, Maria didnt know.

"I told you to call me Phil when we're off base" Coulson reminded her before taking his place behind her, much to the begrudging of other behind them. "And calm down, you look so tense. We're off duty, in the primes of our lives, and about to meet the_ greatest_ band known to man"

Maria tried not to be so pessimistic, she really did. But between the sun, the wait, the crowd, _and_ the guy behind her and Coulson incessantly shouting out song lyrics, she had nearly enough. "How about we call it a draw and settle on_ Coulson_?"

He didn't get a chance to reply because it was finally their turn to meet the band. Coulson led Maria through the door to the small building that the band was in and they were pleasantly surprised to find that it was air conditioned. Someone grabbed Maria's jacket but they were ushered towards the band who were standing beside each other in front of an Avengers banner before she could say anything.

And there they were, in all their glory; The Avengers. Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, and The Black Widow. Of course that was only their _stage_ names, but it was the names _everyone_ knew them by. The band all wore matching outfits, black shirts with 'The Avengers' scribbled in messy red handwriting on the front, and jeans. The only difference in outfits were the shoes and the color of the jeans.

A loud clap helped Maria escape her thoughts and she was ushered inbetween Natasha and Steve. "Nice to meet you..." He trailed off, obviously expecting an answer.

"Hill" She answered without thinking. Maria mentally face palmed when she saw Tony and Coulson trying not to laugh out of the corner of her eye. Seven years in the army had gotten her used to going by her last name, a sentiment Coulson had obviously overcome.

Maria didn't have time to correct herself because the next thing she knew Steve's hand was on her upper back and Natasha's arm was around her shoulder. She looked around and noticed everyone was making a funny face.

Natasha had her free hand up in a peace sign and Tony made bunny ears behind Thor's head. The immature act only _slightly_ amused Maria and her face was mostly unimpressed when the flash went off.

As quickly as they were ushered in, they were ushered out. Almost two hours in line for barely a minute with the band. They didn't even introduce themselves.

To his credit, Coulson kept his cool _pretty_ well throughout the whole fourty six seconds. There was a minimal amount of gushing and no one got injured.

Maria was handed her jacket and her and Coulson exited through the same door they had entered. Maria noticed a short girl with mousy brown eyes wearing an outfit that had 'The Avengers' plastered all over it and had to controll the urge to her know what a let down the whole thing was.

Maria had no idea where the VIP section was but Coulson seemed to know where he was going and gladly led the way. It wasn't as close to the stage as the pit was, but wasn't far away either. It was secluded, a gate around it and there were few people there.

"So, Coulson" Maria began as she sat down. "_What_ part of your body did you have to sell to get the tickets?" Coulson grinned in response, something_ wicked_ that would scare most people if they didn't know him _personally_. "Their record label _may_ think I have cancer and six months to live. It also didn't hurt that I_ personally_ know their manager, Nick Fury"

Maria didn't know_ why_ she bothered asking him questions to which she knew she was going to get _these_ sort of answers to.

* * *

A/N: The Avengers, Maria and Coulson will not remember anything other than what they believe is their real memories from the alternate universe. There were already alternate versions of the Avengers but when the Avengers from the real universe were sent to the AU, their subconscious took over their bodies from the AU and they gained the memories of the AU them. So basically there was two sets of Avengers but when they were sent to the alternate universe they took over their alternate bodies and gained the memories of the alternate bodies while forgetting their own real memories. Meanwhile their own bodies are basically back in the real universe with nobody home inside their head. Black widow, Hawkeye, Fury, Pepper, and anyone that is NOT Thor, Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk, Maria and Coulson are actually alternate people and not from the original universe. So to clarify, Black Widow, Clint, Pepper, Fury, and anyone else I decide to add that weren't sent to the AU by Loki are actually alternate people and are not from the original universe so they will not gain any memories of them being superheroes because they are NOT superheroes. If you have questions let me know because I know my explanation sucked. Also I deciding on whether I want Captain Hill or Black Hill. I love both, so let me know which I should do.


	3. Sugar we're going down swinging

A/N: Time to see whats going on in the original universe with Loki and the others that weren't sent to the alternate universe. Plus the concert is this chapter. Thank you to SamariumAndAntiMatter, Now-You-Don't-Or-Do-You, ReginaRiverHill10396, Guest, and JinxedClarinet for the reviews. Also thanks to all that favorited or subscribed to the story, I would point you out by name but i'm feeling lazy after writing this chapter.

* * *

Loki's blue eyes stared out the window and he peered down at New York City in all it's glory. His current location was the top floor of the newly rebuilt Stark Tower where Loki had taken up residence in the tower since he had sent the Avengers to another universe. And why _shouldn't_ he use it? It wasn't like anyone was going to _stop_ him. The phrase "top of the world" had never felt more true for him until _that_ moment.

New York was beautiful and was almost empty except for the soldiers patrolling the streets under Loki's command and the civilians building the tall wall that encompassed New York. The usual sounds of people yelling and cars honking were replaced by the loud noises of machines being used to build the wall around the city.

Plenty of people had escaped the city when him and his army charged in, guns blazing and bombs going off. But there had been _plent_y still there for him to control. The best part was he didn't have to waste his magic on the buffoons that called themselves mortal. They _feared_ him. And that was all the motivation they needed to listen to his _every_ word.

Many had tried to get into New York but with the technology and armies on his side, anyone who tried had died. Russia was a much better ally than he had ever hoped. They supplied him with men and he supplied them with a way to take over America.

It was a win-win situation. Russia would be the supreme country and Loki would be the king that controlled earth. Once they had America, the other countries would be theirs for the picking.

And to think, he didn't even_ need_ to make some useless alliance with an alien race just to worry about which one of them were going to_ back stab_ him first. Russia could try all they wished to go back on their deal but Loki was a _god_ and if they so much as_ blinked_ out of turn, he would destroy the country, men, women, and children alike.

* * *

"Sir, we have have several witnesses claiming to have seen a man matching Loki's description heading towards Stark Tower"

Nick Fury nodded his head to show that heard the agent.

SHIELD had been taken over; infiltrated from the inside soon after the Avengers (sans Black Widow and Hawkeye) along with two of his best agents, Hill and Coulson, had disappeared. It hadn't been very hard to take SHIELD down, considering their main defense and deputy director had _both_ disappeared.

After a week of the Avengers being gone, Loki had publicly killed the members of the council and the spots were filled by Russians who could hardly even speak English.

Fury was obviously in control of SHIELD, but the council was in charge of _him_ and to directly disobey them would cause too many casualties for Fury's liking.

Fury was forced to make a decision as SHIELD was taken down from the inside and he made a plan. Him and the loyal SHIELD members started meeting underground. Loki had to be taken down and the new leaders of SHIELD were working with him and couldn't be trusted.

By day they pretended to act like they didn't know anything was different with the organization despite the fact that they were ordered to stay out of New York instead of being ordered to find a way in and help the prisoners, which was _entirely_ too suspicious. The coucil's only explanation was that they didn't want to _waste resources_.

By night they met up in their new headquarters underground and attempted to figure out how to take SHIELD back. Black Widow and Hawkeye thankfully hadn't disappeared but spent most of their time looking for the other members.

They hadn't been able to find them yet, but while many people assumed Loki was keeping them close if they had been captured, there were also _many_ rumors that they were in hiding some where out of the country and couldn't get back yet.

Because of this, Hawkeye and The Black Widow spent most of their time in other countries, following dead ends.

Fury was currently underground, monitors and weapons taking up much of the space in the large bunker. Despite the fact that the new leaders of SHIELD were _less_ than concerned with helping New York, Fury certainly was.

They had gotten people to sneak in and work the inside, keeping an eye on Loki. It was too early for results, but they hoped to at least find out if Loki had_ anything_ to do with The Avenger's disappearance.

Taking New York back by force wasn't an option. If anyone got close to it, they were blown up. Their only option was to find the Avengers. They were the only ones that stood a chance against Loki.

* * *

Music was something that Maria had always loved. It was always there for her. Whenever her dad and step mother got into a fight she would turn up the volume on her radio and let the music drown out the yelling. The only that she could complain about in the army was the lack of music. Or at least, the lack of _good_ music.

_Apparently_ Coulson thought so too considering he had pulled several strings to get into the concert. And the fact that he was currently annoying Maria about her taking a picture of him with the stage in the background.

Maria quickly snapped a photo, not concerned about the quality. Coulson would like it no matter what anyways.

"Here you go sir"

Coulson took the phone and smiled at the picture, too happy to remind her about her use of sir while off duty. He grabbed two beers that were being passed around and handed one to Maria which she eagerly took and began to sip on while they waited for the concert to start.

-30 minutes later-

"Alright ladies and gentleman, I know you're all excited to see the Avengers but let's give it up for their opening act, the beautiful Pepper Potts!" The man speaking left the stage and a blonde haired woman with a guitar came on and the crowd started cheering.

She smiled and waved to the crowd.

"Hi I'm Pepper and I'm going to sing you the first song I wrote. It's little slower than what you're probably used to but it means something to me and I hope that after tonight it will mean something to you as well" She started strumming her guitar. "This is the only exception"

Maria had to admit, the girl _wasn't_ terrible. And considering the stars in Coulson's eyes, he agreed. (He had taken the glasses off earlier) He was definitely thinking of the 'I love Pepper Pots' shirt he was going to make when he got home. Most of Pepper's stuff wasn't bad, a bit slow at times but some of it was fast paced and got the crowd going.

At long last, The Avengers went on. Phil nearly fainted several times, swearing that Captain America was looking right at him.

If Maria hadn't known on good authority that Coulson wasn't gay, she'd have thought Coulson had a crush on Captain America.

It was _weird_, seeing Coulson so carefree outside of work. She was used to seeing the hard-ball instructor that made her do two hundred push ups one day because she was falling behind in their mile hike.

The band really was amazing, they brought so much energy to the stage. While Pepper got everyone excited, the Avengers got almost everyone out of their seat.

Twenty one guns was probably the best song of the night, though American Idiot was a close second, since Maria and Coulson agreed with the song on nearly everything the song said.

Iron man was obnoxiously funny, Thor had the greatest facials, the Hulk didn't do much but stand there with his bass, and if Coulson wasn't mistaken, apparently he was making faces at Black Widow as she played the keyboards. Captain America looked like he wanted to dance but wasn't quite sure he could so just ended up making sure everyone else was in sync with their dancing.

"Thank you so much for coming out, ladies and gentleman" Maria heard Captain say as she made her ways towards the restrooms.

"You all mean so much to us, our fans got us to where we are. To show how appreciative we are, we dedicate this next song to-" She droned his voice out as she waited in line for the bathroom.

Coulson had been waiting to go to the bathroom for nearly half of the concert, but there was no way he was going to miss any of the show and Maria was about to do the same, the line discouraging her.

She turned around, deciding to at least watch the song being performed while she waited in line. It turned out the slight hill the bathroom was on top of made it an excellent place to scope out the entire area, top to bottom.

And above the stage was a platform that held up stage lights. And on that platform was a man in a couched position, looking into something that she couldn't see but years of training told her it_ wasn'_t a camera. He was too rigid and the hand placement and slight angle of the head made it abundently clear what he was holding.

Maria quickly scanned the surrounding area, looking for a ladder to the platform. There was a cylinder beam next to the bathrooms holding the platform up and a guard standing close by that she doubted was there to make sure no fights broke out by the bathroom.

She ran over, and waved her hand in his face, trying to get his attention. "Sir there's-" He held up a hand, cutting Maria off. "_But sir_ that guy-" He once again held up a hand, quieting her, refusing to look up from his phone.

Making a rash decision, Maria got closer to him and punched him in the gut before putting her finger over a pressure point between his neck and shoulder and down he went, like a rock. She searched his pockets and found a taser, which she put in the waistband of her jeans.

She hastily started climbing the ladder. Why the hell didn't anyone notice a guy with a _gun_? He could have been mistaken as a guy with a camera but who needed a vantage point from that high up? Half way up, and she was getting really annoyed.

How high did this thing need to be? Why did she choose _that_ day to wear skinny jeans? And while she was making a list of things that she regreted, she added not bringing her jacket because the air was _freezing_ up there.

She finally made it up but wasn't close enough to the guy. "Hey you!" Maria shouted and instinctively reached for her gun which she remembered she didn't bring. Because she was at a concert. And _who_ thinks to bring a gun to a concert?

The man turned around and the pale skin and reptilian like tattoos immediately gave him away as a Chitauri, a terrorist group that blew up several small buildings in New York. Why he was attempting to kill someone at a _concert_, she had no idea. What could he really accomplish by shooting someone whose only talent was probably playing an instrument?

_Unless_ he was aiming for someone in the crowd. Her thoughts immediately went to Coulson and her chest flared with anger though the odds of him actually going after _Coulson_ were slim, after all he wasn't the most important guy in the army, so he_ had_ to be going after someone in the band.

"Hold your hands up and walk towards me slowly" Maria said in a voice that was threatening and glared at him. She knew she could get to him before he could turn around and grab his sniper and apparently he knew it too because he started walking towards her.

Maria took out her phone with the intent to call the police, but the Chitaurian(?) took advantage of her distraction and knocked the phone out of her hand. She watched helplessly as the phone went over the edge and by the time she looked up again, a gun was pointed at her.

"You didn't think i'd only have one gun did you? Foolish girl. Now put your hands up" Maria slowly inched her hands up, trying not to make any sudden movements. A loud scream tore their gazes from each other, _apparently_ the concert was coming to an end.

She used his distraction to her advantage this time, pulling the taser out of her waistband and tasered him in the arm. The Chitaurian(?) dropped the gun, and he hissed in pain. His arm _probably_ stung like a bitch. He ran towards Maria and her military training kicked in, allowing her to easily duck under his arm and swipe at his legs, knocking him off balance.

He regained balance sooner than she expected and she couldn't avoid his fist which hit her in the face, causing her to stumble backwards. Maria went on the offensive and swung at him several times, catching him in the jaw once.

One swing was too slow and he grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back. She groaned in pain and stomped on his foot, causing him to let go.

She landed a jab to his throat and he dropped onto his knees. Right next to his pistol. He picked it up and shot at her, getting Maria in the left shoulder. She gasped at the pain and rushed at him which he wasn't execting, allowing her to get close enough to punch him in the nose, a satisfying crack following.

One hand went to his nose which was gushing blood and Maria grabbed at the gun, trying to pry it from his hand. They fought for it and it went off twice. The Chitaurian(?) went stiff before leaning back, falling over the edge. The gun slipped from Maria's fingers, and before realized what was going on, hey vision went blurry and she lost consciousness.

A/N: What do ya think? Its actually pretty long compared to my other chapters. I felt like Pepper would play country music but that wouldn't make sense unless The Avengers were also a country group... Which would be weirder. So I made her a one person Paramore. And The Avengers are Green day.


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